Fwd: [New post] The New Freakishly Tall Baby

Tue Jan 12 17:15:10 EST 2021

My friend Greg has a new post on his Blog..

-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: 	[New post] The New Freakishly Tall Baby
Date: 	Tue, 12 Jan 2021 21:16:08 +0000
From: 	Rolling Physics Problem <comment-reply at wordpress.com>
Reply-To: 	Rolling Physics Problem 
<comment+ce12lq42uj8a5sg-u8b92em at comment.wordpress.com>
To: 	deilenberger at gmail.com

WordPress.com
shamiehg posted: " So for a couple of weeks, we had more cold, more 
darkness, a smattering here and there of ice, of snow, and generally, as 
we had been doing for the last long time, we kept to ourselves, and we 
hunkered down. It was even worse than being a normal kid a"
Respond to this post by replying above this line

    New post on *Rolling Physics Problem*

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    The New Freakishly Tall Baby
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by shamiehg 
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So for a couple of weeks, we had more cold, more darkness, a smattering 
here and there of ice, of snow, and generally, as we had been doing for 
the last long time, we kept to ourselves, and we hunkered down.

It was even worse than being a normal kid at a normal Christmas  -- I 
knew I /had/ a new bike – I just didn’t really know when I would 
eventually see it.

On top of that, Pop Pop, whose garage the GS was sleeping in, was 
feeling somewhat poorly. He’d ended up having an unplanned run-in with 
another doctor with another set of scalpels and sutures, and it had left 
him laid up with a foot that was temporarily out of order.  Getting Pop 
fixed up and back on the road became a lot more important than what I 
was doing my best to avoid getting fixated about.

Sweet Doris from Baltimore even spent Christmas morning – on a holiday 
where we’d thought we wouldn’t get to see The Folks at all – in town 
helping to patch Pop up and to learn a whole pile of new medications and 
delivery methods while I shot the sheet with Finn and stepped up from 
Sous Chef to ‘Yes, Chef!’ to keep our Christmas Dinner on the rails.

All that aside, we ended the day tired, grateful for those many 
blessings we did have, and sharing a nice meal.

I hope you were able to do the same.

***

A few days after the Holiday, though, Sweet D needed to head into town 
again to help Pop get to several doctor and lab visits – she asked me if 
I wanted to ride along, and take advantage of the opportunity to run the 
GS back to the RPP Skunkworks. I yanked my phone out of my pocket and 
pulled up a weather report.

“Partly cloudy…. High of 36 degrees…. 15 to 20 mph Westerly Breeze… 
Sure, Hon, sounds like a great day to recover a motorcycle.”

I’ve got a ‘Stich, with its 11/10s GoreTex wind resistance.  BMWs have 
heated grips. I’ve been cold before. I’d warm back up, eventually.

***

So later that afternoon, I found myself standing in the driveway outside 
Pop Pop’s garage with a BMW key in my hand. After the door went up I 
carried the replacement windshield for the bike and the bike cover that 
I’d stacked on the parked machine down to the Flex for transport back to 
the shop. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that a GS with aluminum 
expedition cases doesn’t make a wonderful shipping pallet that just 
happens to be mobile.

I got myself back between the GS and the wall that had caused me such 
grief when I’d stashed the bike, eased it off the sidestand, and rolled 
it backwards into the light.  Whether it appeals to you or not, one has 
to admit the appearance of the GS – which looks like it got loose from 
the flight deck of the Star Wars Resistance – is an impressive, rugged 
and technological-appearing thing.

It sure ain’t no R27, Brothers and Sisters.

I spent a few minutes with my mini-compressor checking tire pressures – 
due to the cold they needed a few pounds. I put on my license plate – 
pleased with my upgrade from the previous breadloaf twist-ties to actual 
zip ties.

I’ll admit that I had concerns about the bike starting. When I’d test 
driven it, the battery had been flat enough to require a jump, 
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being a modern motorcycle, battery access was a lot less friendly than 
just turning a key and lifting the saddle.

In preparation for that possibility, I’d brought along a new 
BatteryTender pigtail, a BatteryTender mini, an extension cord, my 
jumper cables, and the few tools I knew I needed to access and service 
the battery. Heck, I brought everything short of a new battery and/or a 
complete replacement motorcycle.

I needn’t have bothered.

I climbed aboard the GS, turned the key, waited a few seconds for 
systems to initialize and for stepper motors to stop stepping, and then 
pulled in the clutch and pressed the starter. The engine spun up briskly 
and fired on about the third compression stroke. I played with the 
throttle for a few seconds – revved gently a few times – and hrummphed 
as the engine stalled when I let the throttle close.

No matter.  Apparently the 30 or so miles I’d put on the bike three 
weeks of freezing weather ago had been enough to put a usable charge on 
the battery – astoundingly, a battery that despite being repeatedly 
ignored and mistreated, it looked like I wouldn’t have to replace. 
  There was clearly enough charge for the bike to start again.

It was time to gear up and head west towards home.

***

My in-law’s driveway is steep enough and its concrete busted up enough 
that there are certain conditions under which it’s not a good idea even 
on foot – A BMW GS motorcycle makes it seem trivial – I rode down at 
walking speed, standing up and covering the rear brake until the big 
front wheel rolled into the street.  I shot Sweet Doris a wave, cut 
right towards Harford Road, and gassed it.

I deliberately cut through the neighborhood on the West side of Harford 
Road to get a little heat in the engine and make sure everything was in 
working order.  This neighborhood isn’t much on pavement, and the GS’s 
long throw suspension was tracking it well. After working my way across 
to Perring Parkway, I activated the heated grips and then ran through 
the gears as I headed out toward the Beltway.  With the GS’s Rotax twin 
warming, I stretched third and fourth gears out – it’s an almost 
flywheeless motor that just loves to rev – as the rpms rise so does the 
power. With the revs up the 4 valve heads move mixture, and on top 
there’s a fair amount of power for the 798 ccs of displacement.  BMW 
claims their use of a 360 degree flywheel – the parallel twin 
configuration favored by the shakiest of the traditional British twins – 
was selected to mimic the one power stroke every rotation cadence of 
BMW’s beloved boxer. The F800’s connecting rod type counterbalancer 
takes the worst of the parallel twin’s vibration out of the picture 
while leaving enough to still know it’s a motorcycle. In many ways, the 
engine behaves like a somewhat more muscular version of Finn’s CB500F – 
a bike I also like a lot. The F800’s claimed ‘boxer-ness’ is probably 
why it was talking to me enough to let it follow me home – it was 
pressing all of my deeply imprinted neurological preference for boxer 
vibration buttons.

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Questions?

Setting up for the Beltway onramp, I snapped a shift down to third – 
wrangling the 21 inch front wheel through corners requires a bit more 
deliberation, but the wide handlebars give one the required leverage, 
and once on line, the GS can carve. We’re still flying, it’s just at a 
higher altitude.

I caught a break by catching a break in traffic, and was able to braap 
my way into the left lane in one big rush – only snapping up into sixth 
gear to after picking up cruising speed. At 70 to 75 miles an hour the 
GS was dead comfortable, and there was enough top gear punch to move 
through traffic at will.  Long leggedness is a signature BMW quality, 
and it lives here, too.

10 miles – seemingly vaporized in a single thought – brought me to I-70, 
the turn to the west and directly into that chilling headwind. 
Truthfully, I was a lot more comfortable than I’d thought I’d be – 
Aerostich gear flat out works, and my Roadcrafter was doing a stellar 
job of keeping the wind at bay and keeping my core temperature up 
without the capability to resort to electric heat. My elkskin gloves, on 
the other hand, were a little challenged – working in concert with the 
GS’s cranked electric grips -- in keeping my hands warm with anything 
more than a 90 mph wind-chill factor. Resolved – we’d end up keeping a 
slightly slower slab cruise speed than usual – the bike wasn’t the hold 
up, though, the rider was.

Coming out past US 29, I was pleased with how relaxed the GS seemed at 
interstate speed. The stock saddle is firm, but supportive. The wide 
flat handlebar is just perfect. The bike has more leg room than any 
other motorcycle I’ve ever ridden. I’d be the first to admit that the 
bike – given its mission profile -- is geared a little short for 
hyperspeed touring. The CB500F – for comparison -- is turning 6000 rpm 
at 70 mph, and that feels a tad on the busy side – the GS is turning 
5000 at an indicated 75, and it feels like it could run tank to tank 
there.  I had to dispatch a few ill-mannered four wheeled motorists at 
that speed, and it pulled away smartly with no need for a downshift.

A 60 mile run between cities, though, is a complete doddle. My moto-yoda 
Paul used to talk about performing ‘An Italian Tune-up’, which consisted 
of taking a stored or laid-up motorcycle to the road and basically 
wailing the shit out of it – this GS seemed nothing but happy about 50 
miles of top gear, high speed operation – throttle response and power 
were both markedly improved.  When I got west of Frederick I dropped off 
onto the secondary roads. There was nobody waiting for me on the other 
end, so efficiency was not a priority – I went off in search of some 
curves and some dirt.

I exited US 340 at Jefferson Technology Parkway – my absolutely favorite 
ironically named road – ironic because my home town, Jefferson, barely 
has any more technology than sits in my home office. The street name is 
an artifact of a venal, now soundly defeated and driven from the public 
field, attention-grabbing politician for whom the road’s name was part 
aspirational, and part pure flim-flam. If, someday in the future, 
Jefferson has more tech startups than it has certified dairy cows, I 
will gladly offer a sincere apology. For now, though, every time I see 
the exit sign on the highway or ride the road I will likely be on the 
verge of laughing so hard as to impede proper motorcyclic directional 
control.  JTP – ironic nomenclature aside – is very twisty and bumpy and 
still under construction making it a nearly ideal GS road.

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of Moooooo.com

I sliced though the Parkway’s three traffic circles and seven or so 
corner combinations laughing all the way – not because of the name but 
because of the bike, which was going it’s darndest to convince me it was 
a slightly oversize Schwinn Sting-Ray that had somehow managed to escape 
from my childhood.

I doglegged up The Jefferson Pike, and then headed up Teen Barnes Road 
to cut across the ridge and into The Valley. Teen Barnes is entertaining 
– climbing steeply up one side of the ridge, cutting hard all the way – 
and necking down to a single lane where it runs through the woods over 
the crest and down the ski jump crazy grade down the other side. Another 
dogleg put the GS on Poole Road – another one lane farm road with 
minimal sightlines – and I felt utterly comfortable with the bike and 
its handling. Poole is a road where one needs to be able to put the bike 
right where one needs it, and this GS allowed me to pick my inch, put it 
there and keep it there.

And then there was Poffenberger Road – my most familiar bit of crushed 
limestone – a road my family actually lived on, before our current home 
was built.  I toggled the bike’s off-road ‘Enduro’ drive mode on, and 
rolled into the dirt.  I’ve had more than a few scrambler and dual sport 
motorcycles down here – none felt as sure footed on the gravel as did 
this GS. After going through the switchbacks by the Lewis Mill, running 
by the creek I was able to open the throttle a bit and to slide a corner 
on the gas – it felt as serene as such a thing can feel.

After one more pavement run though the woods on Saint Mark’s Road – 
good, tight bumpy stuff with the sun filtering through the trees – the 
GS finally found the sidestand and silence at its new home.

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GS Goes to Jefferson

I spent a few minutes in contemplation of the new machine. Upon 
reflection, it really needed a wash.

It would need to spend the night outside while I plotted a little 
reorganization.

***

After coffee the next morning, Sweet Doris from Baltimore was with me 
eyeballing the state of the shop. The state of the shop was not good.

There were artifacts and debris from camper construction, motorcycle 
maintenance, car and truck maintenance, bicycle projects, tool chests, 
power tools, camping equipment, stacked kitchen cabinets salvaged from 
our recently completed kitchen rehab, oh, three of my motorcycles, 
Finn’s motorcycle, a Zero SR/S test bike, and one 4x8 teardrop camper.

“Let’s do this. Let’s clear it out, pull down the shelves, put the 
cabinets up, and get this mess right.”

“You think we can get that all done by sundown?”

“Yeah. Get me some boxes.”

And we were off to the races.

The garage shelves were demo’ed, contents and bikes moved out to the 
driveway. We cut and put up a ledger board to align the cabinets over 
the workbench, and cut a stilt to position the cabinets that would mount 
on the wall beside the work area.  Four hours into it, the cabinets were 
all securely mounted to studs, and by seven hours the new cabinets were 
reloaded, the motorcycles were reorganized, the doors were down, and it 
was past time for an ale.

I might not have been sufficiently caffeinated initially, but I had to 
admit the shop looked a great deal better.

And the freakishly tall new baby had a new home.

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One More You Can't See

And to those friends of mine that have been suggesting that I should be 
able to fit a seventh motorcycle – no problem – your suggestions are in 
no way helpful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*shamiehg 
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| January 12, 2021 at 9:15 pm | Tags: Adventure Motorcycles 
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BMW F800 GS Adventure 
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Rotax 
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