Jennifer McKay

Sun Nov 1 09:16:03 EST 2020

Thanks Henry!  I hope this goes through to the club.  If not, please feel free to repost it for me.  Jennifer as some of you know had a /5, along with her 70 something Honda and was an Airhead too.  Jennifer thoroughly enjoyed the tech-days in both Maryland & Delaware, and a supertech weekend as well.  Jennifer enjoyed all your company, enthusiasm and stories.

Part 1:

I can relate to a quote I heard the other day. “To truly love another person is to accept the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them.” Jennifer, all I ever wanted, muse, best friend, bride, wife, and my better 3/4ths passed peacefully away. Jennifer would have wanted it to sometime around midnight, in that special hour between two days, or the blue light of the morning before a magnificent tangerine or sherbet sunrise. Instead, Jennifer chose the same time as her life-long best friend and followed her into the light of a gorgeous 99 percentile full moon.

Jennifer’s almost two-year fight with brain cancer has come to an end. Always on her own terms, the narrator, and the director as she went down the road of life and this fight. Never alone, “No One Fights Alone”. As with everything, Jennifer explored every option, drove down every dead-end road, and cul-de-sac never willing to give up, never taking no for an answer. Many tried and Jennifer would escalate the call or write letters to influential people until she had what was deserved.

Jennifer left an indelible mark on everyone she ever met. I cannot tell you how many times she would arrive late because she took the time to say hi to a friend or talk to strangers. Jennifer always cherished the little moments, closing her eyes to take a mental picture and to savor the intensity of the moment.

“Almost every week, I have an uninitiated moment of appreciation in which I cannot speak”.

Forever inclusive, Jennifer could not walk by someone taking a photo of a group without taking the cameral from them so they could be in the photo too. “I’m the one that secretly clears off my neighbors’ cars at daybreak after a snow”.  Jennifer would be the first one to put her back on you, hug you, and hold your hand. Always the eternal optimist with always the right thing to say. To know Jennifer would bring a smile to your face. There was a childish joy from just being in her presence and that eternal smile, a smile that could be seen in the dark. An insatiable wanderlust to travel and take her time to bumble. Always up for healthy mischief and adventure, racing up the mountain top and then yodeling so everyone else could follow to find her. Or the first one to kick off her flipflops and run through the sand to the ocean.

“I loved the thrill of running with bulls, but prefer running along the shoreline with the dolphins at sunrise”.

“I hiked along the banks of the James River when it was flooded up to my shoulders because it was the only opportunity I’d ever have to do it”.

Always striving to do better, to be better, and to bring out the best in others. Even in those last days, Jennifer contemplated continuing with her doctorate. Over summer vacation she had taken a Spanish book writing class and finished a couple of chapters. Of course, about a Monarch butterfly. Of all the things Jennifer loved, teaching would be near the top. Teaching gave her so much joy and she continuing to challenge herself with teaching right up until the moment when she physically could not anymore. 

“Average people motivate me to never be average”.

two years, the days started off slowly, then becoming faster and faster. We took advantage of every opportunity to express our feelings to each other. Though it never seemed like enough for either of us. The last days were spent holding her hand and reading to her from the volumes of data both of us saved. Independently, knowing how important the information was we each saved all our text conversations and emails. For the first year, we did not speak by phone. For the simple reason, that to read and write requires thoughtfulness. Jennifer enjoyed telling people about it. I remember one time we were meeting to go horseback riding and I was at the wrong stable. She had the astonished owner call me to give me directions to the right place. It was a fun game to leave electronic Easter eggs for each other to find. Then, way before it was fashionable, we had our own private FB and Messenger site for just the two of us. Those quick fun things couples can send while busy at work or on the road. I never did finish reading the six years of data to Jennifer, still a couple of hundred pages to go through. I'm glad we were able to revisit as much as we did together, from our first date on…

To say Jennifer will be missed is an understatement, she leaves a large wake behind as she propelled through life with her swim fins on. Jennifer would be the first person to tell you not to dwell on the past or to be sad but to celebrate. Remember the wheatie side has a frosty side too. Not to cry, but to raise your glass high with a smile, wink, and “clink” a pint or wine glass. LYMY GNJ! XXoXO

Part 2:

Where do you start when someone you love has passed away? How to put their life into a few short words? I could go on to tell you all about the amazing Jennifer McKay and her accomplishments. I could tell you how she lived her life. But you are reading this. You already know all of that. Each of you have your own special stories to tell about Jennifer. To be a friend means that you left your mark on her, as she did you.

I have always been struck by the Funeral Oration scene from “Waking Ned Devine”, If you haven’t seen the movie, then I highly recommend you do, or to watch it again. I do not want to eulogize Jennifer but to maybe say some words that she would say to you. Jennifer would first off say that she is sorry. Sorry that she wasn’t able to tell you herself. Sorry that you may be sad. Jennifer would be sorry that she can’t give you a hug or to hold your hand or to say it’s going to be OK.

Jennifer would then go on to say thank you. Thank you for being in her life and making a difference. Thank you for always being there for her. She would thank you for all the support, especially over the past few months. Jennifer would thank you for all the well wishes, cards, good vibes, and positive thoughts, and yes even the prayers. Jennifer would then thank you for all the memories, the smiles, and the laughter. Jennifer would thank you for just being you, being real, and being yourself. Thank You.

Lance McKay

From: Henry Sherwood <henry.sherwood at gmail.com> 
Sent: Sunday, November 1, 2020 8:10 AM
To: Maryland Airheads <mdairheads at mail.casano.com>
Subject: Jennifer McKay

Former Air Marshal Lance McKay lost his wife Jennifer after a two year battle with brain cancer.  

I don't know the ethics of copying what he wrote on his Facebook page, but it is touching.

Prayers love and condolences to the McKay family.

Henry Sherwood

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